it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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