I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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