if you like me you must not know who I am
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Im part way to drunk.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
