yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
