why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
