real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
