I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
