You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
