Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
