So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
