I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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