Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
