R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
