Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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