i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My pussy is not your playground.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
