I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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