I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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