super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
