I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
