im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize