I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
where am i from again
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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