Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
