We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The power of my boobs compel you
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
