6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
