i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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