Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
