He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
