Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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