this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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