It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
