Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
porn star boner night. come get it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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