is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
