Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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