We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
