I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
