he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize