I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Even the bartender felt bad for me
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
