Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize