I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
