ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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