I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
