also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
