You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
