Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
