My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
