jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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