sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
