She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize