You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
