If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
