Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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