fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
