covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
