He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It was confusing and full of hummus
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
