I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
