Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize