I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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