we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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