She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Let's paint friendship bongs
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
