...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
