I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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