where am i from again
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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