so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I have tasted many bathrooms
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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