it was like his penis was on wheels.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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