he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
