They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
